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Defeating Two types of Porn

Posted by: joshrobinson    Tags:  , ,     Posted date:  January 16, 2012  |  2 Comments



I’m stepping out into new territory into the land of controversy. I’ve written about visual pornography in a post titled, “How to defeat pornography.” Most everyone would agree that visual pornography is a serious issue in today’s culture. Today, I’m going to bring up another aspect of pornography. The emotional type. I ask you to have an open mind and think through the implications of both types of pornography.

Two types of pornography:

Visual Porn (fantasizing for sexual fulfillment). Physical or visual pornography are setting up relationships to struggle and possibly fail. Why? Because physical porn places unrealistic expectations and twisted, satanic perversion upon others. Without knowing it, many men apply what they have seen to their wives and the result is a damaged marriage and sometimes divorce. To read more about defeating visual pornography, go here.

Emotional Pornography  (fantasizing for emotional fulfillment): Yes, I said it. We talk a lot about physical or visual porn, what about the mind and heart? The obsession of romance is overabundant in today’s culture. Love is defined as fantasy driven. The perfect guy makes the girl happy at any cost no matter how the girl acts. Emotional porn craves any emotional high from a movie or experience.

For example, most of the biggest box office movies are chick flicks. If you notice, most of the movies involve premarital sex as “love” and portray a perfectly “in tune with the emotions” guy who comes and saves the day. Now, there are some good ones out there but a majority are simply emotional porn. Twilight is a good example of love gone wrong. I do not understand the lure of a vampire or a werewolf being attractive or romantic? One wants to drink your blood and the other will eat you? How is that sweet and romantic? ( ; Now, I am stepping into dangerous territory by having this opinion. What happens when women place unrealistic expectations and twisted “stalker like” passion over a movie character or book novel? It can affect the relationship with a spouse. It creates a frustration of perfection and comparison.

Emotional porn sets up relationships to struggle and possibly fail. Why? Because emotions play a vital role in a relationship. If you are like me, if I watch a show, my emotions easily lead me astray. The person who is guilty is portrayed as “right” in the situation. Without knowing it, I’m cheering for the person who has committed the crime!  Love is about commitment to the long haul, not momentary emotions and feelings!

 Here is my question. If visual porn is obviously damaging and perverted, then why is it acceptable for women to fantasize and make sexual comments about a movie character, athlete or book novel? Have we made the statement, “I wish my husband was like this guy!” Ladies, instead of nagging and beating him down, affirm the positive in his life. Let him know that you are committed to him and be grateful for what he does instead of comparing him to an unrealistic movie or novel. Encouragement will create more of a desire to be romantic and pursue the relationship!

The most important aspect of a marriage relationship is to be trustworthy, loyal and committed. What I am not saying is that a movie, book or mistake is what will damage a relationship forever. But, a continual filling of emotional or physical porn is the goal of Satan to destroy your marriage and mine by creating unrealistic expectations. Jesus is the only way that we can “complete” us. Fulfillment and purpose is built on the foundation of a growing relationship with Christ. Marriage is God’s idea. It is a journey to learn to study each other and become experts at showing love and commitment to each other. Let’s stand firm on not letting anything or anyone take the place of the covenant marriage relationship.

What are your thoughts? Is visual porn and emotional porn both worthy of discussing? I’d like to hear from you! 


About the author
joshrobinson
I’m a follower of Christ, husband to Cassidy, and pastor to students
  • Sandydriggers

    Stepping on some toes talking about Twilight there, Josh, but I agree with you. Emotional porn is a problem for women…even if it isn’t found for us in a movie or a novel…it is a heart issue and can be either fed or starved. Doesn’t it come down to not coveting?; To giving God first place in our hearts and minds? I mean, I could covet another couple’s relationship just going to church or small group. I think what you see in popular culture is simply a re-enforcement of what is already in our sinful hearts. Yes, it is worth opening up and seeing what is really there and questioning why we behave as we do – are we seeking God’s approval or the meeting of evil desires?

    By the way, I think it is also worth mentioning how we women “commit pornography” by wearing clothing and saying things that make it very difficult for men not to be attracted. I think most of us do not know or stop to think about how we dress or act is going to affect the men around us – especially very young women and teen girls – we just know we like the attention and have no real idea what detriment we bring.

    • Josh

      great points! I think its important to look at both sides of the issue in today’s culture. It is easy to conform to society. I think you are on to something!